June 30, 2018 is the day I became a wife. Nothing has ever felt so right. A year of wedding planning went off (mostly) without a hitch. But even before then, there was a lingering question; Will I take his name or hyphenate? I spent time discussing with my then fiance his feelings about taking his name or not taking his name. I researched on the internet, searched my soul, and asked friends who had hyphenated names what their experience has been. I probably over analyzed the situation considering the final decision was made in a single moment.
My reasons for hyphenating my name:
My name is my name-- I’ve had the same name for over 30 years
Carry on the name-- My family’s last name may end with my generation. I want to keep it alive a bit longer
Blending the best of both-- I’m not one or the other name. I’m part of both families!
I have three solid reasons why I chose to hyphenate my name after getting married. But the decision came down to one, single moment. When I thought of never using my maiden name again… my stomach sank and my head spun. In that moment, I knew I couldn’t give up my name.
Hyphenating and even keeping just your maiden name is much more common than it used to be. The choice comes down to what’s important. Here’s some questions to help you:
How important is it to your spouse to take his/her name?
How important is it to you to keep your maiden name?
If you have children, what will their last name be?
The time will come when you need to decide. I say, use a mix of head and heart. What feels right to you? Six months down the road, I’m glad I hyphenated but it’s also a tongue-twister and I find myself re-introducing myself. No regrets. The choice is yours and your spouses.
Did you hyphenate? Did you not change your name? Share your experience in the comments!
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